there might be cake
laundry done
humans showered 

summer hurts my heart 
holding mercury or wrangling cats and eels

it all just goes

sleepless tired we are quiet

laundry done
humans showered

summer hurts my heart
holding mercury or wrangling cats and eels

it all just goes

sleepless tired we are quiet

no

not sleeping.

not appreciably.

not at all

he sleeps

across the drive neighbors having a birthday celebration on their deck. 

their noise. him on the bose. 

else quiet 

isolating, this carer thing. I remember now. 

people ask, with well meaning, are you a saint. no. I’m a person. 
wrong questions. 

he stirs. 

night you lot

he sleeps

across the drive neighbors having a birthday celebration on their deck.

their noise. him on the bose.

else quiet

isolating, this carer thing. I remember now.

people ask, with well meaning, are you a saint. no. I’m a person.
wrong questions.

he stirs.

night you lot

GPOYW
at work and then in the house

my head with the other when I’m at the one

all of it temporal 
provisional 

laundry 
fruit 
yogurt
toilet paper
eggs 

the wash drying on the hammock

himself asleep 

sleep would be a vacation with an umbrella drink in a place where the workers are all well treated

GPOYW
at work and then in the house

my head with the other when I’m at the one

all of it temporal
provisional

laundry
fruit
yogurt
toilet paper
eggs

the wash drying on the hammock

himself asleep

sleep would be a vacation with an umbrella drink in a place where the workers are all well treated

yes. very much yes

car wash accessories smell like sick waiting to happen and regret

car wash accessories smell like sick waiting to happen and regret

true
an anxiety, a nameless, odorless colorless some thing, the radon of apprehension 

how do we make this work beyond one day, one day?

at the speech and occupational therapy joint. 

he just went in. the therapist, professionally kind, uses her outside voice to greet him.

he had a stroke, not a sudden onset of adventitious Deaf

true
an anxiety, a nameless, odorless colorless some thing, the radon of apprehension

how do we make this work beyond one day, one day?

at the speech and occupational therapy joint.

he just went in. the therapist, professionally kind, uses her outside voice to greet him.

he had a stroke, not a sudden onset of adventitious Deaf

back to camp this morning.  this begins week four of five. was away all of last week - today I see lovely changes and progress and wish I could be there more and more. it’s a good thing.  little kids and somewhat bigger ones learning things, looking after one another, acting out, eating government breakfast and lunch.
wrangling care turns out to be harder than it looked.  in a surreal place between work and life, care giving and teaching and learning. have been thinking a lot about parents and full time carers and how you all do it.  this is different to the time with my mother.  it’s hard to be the grownup.  
they’re all connected, the hands-on pieces.  work, life.
Hal once saying his notion of bliss was someone to love and work he loved; like Kant - something to do, someone to love and a reason to hope.
the rest - the paperwork, the politics, the power shenanigans - not so much.

back to camp this morning.  this begins week four of five. was away all of last week - today I see lovely changes and progress and wish I could be there more and more. it’s a good thing.  little kids and somewhat bigger ones learning things, looking after one another, acting out, eating government breakfast and lunch.

wrangling care turns out to be harder than it looked.  in a surreal place between work and life, care giving and teaching and learning. have been thinking a lot about parents and full time carers and how you all do it.  this is different to the time with my mother.  it’s hard to be the grownup.  

they’re all connected, the hands-on pieces.  work, life.

Hal once saying his notion of bliss was someone to love and work he loved; like Kant - something to do, someone to love and a reason to hope.

the rest - the paperwork, the politics, the power shenanigans - not so much.

fuck you, bed bath and beyond, unless your offer includes 20% off all the tiny things and large that keep me up all night and not asleep. offer me that and *then* ask how well I’ve slept.

fuck you, bed bath and beyond, unless your offer includes 20% off all the tiny things and large that keep me up all night and not asleep. offer me that and *then* ask how well I’ve slept.

he’s asleep

another friend, person in his life since forever, also asleep in tom’s room

all the things I’d forgotten to tell her before I leave for work: goat’s milk for his cereal, pills after food, the compression socks because embolism, cereal where, berries in, blue or red, compost for banana peels, particular specific suggestions regarding personal hygiene. shaving hazards. steps and stairs. 


and they say stroke victims perseverate

he’s asleep

another friend, person in his life since forever, also asleep in tom’s room

all the things I’d forgotten to tell her before I leave for work: goat’s milk for his cereal, pills after food, the compression socks because embolism, cereal where, berries in, blue or red, compost for banana peels, particular specific suggestions regarding personal hygiene. shaving hazards. steps and stairs.


and they say stroke victims perseverate

back hall

all the feelings

back hall

all the feelings

so much love

so much luck 

each time a friend comes by with a guitar, playing. more and better. locked rooms open. muscle memory. brain blows its own dust off.  something something one thing, another. tiny healing. enormous love. 

put a garlic on it: managed to cook a meal he likes and eats

thankyoubabyjesus

thank you lot, too

so much love

so much luck

each time a friend comes by with a guitar, playing. more and better. locked rooms open. muscle memory. brain blows its own dust off. something something one thing, another. tiny healing. enormous love.

put a garlic on it: managed to cook a meal he likes and eats

thankyoubabyjesus

thank you lot, too

poor bunny

poor bunny

five

words. also hug town and hung two. words easier to read than construct. squirrelly brain

new rules, new days: flexible except when not

perseverating : things just so. or again and again

grab bar man comes to measure because safety

isolated but not; field of brain, sere. sparse here, lush there. statesboro blues: key of D

yesterday. the long and not terribly winding but long long road

three hours sleep, load of wash, a friend stops by. the young ones come to lunch with us. 
the menu is daunting
the day itself

tired has its own weight, a valence

a calm. at the end of the day, which is the end of (the) day

a salad. the meds in their am and pm daily sectioned housing 

the brain. squirrelly squirrelly bastard

yesterday. the long and not terribly winding but long long road

three hours sleep, load of wash, a friend stops by. the young ones come to lunch with us.
the menu is daunting
the day itself

tired has its own weight, a valence

a calm. at the end of the day, which is the end of (the) day

a salad. the meds in their am and pm daily sectioned housing

the brain. squirrelly squirrelly bastard